One of the most profound shifts I see in therapy isn't that people forget what happened to them. It's that their past gradually stops feeling like it's happening now. I often describe this process as integration, healing or desensitisation. And I have also had conversations with a clients where we talking about it as a process of delinking. Our brains are designed to learn from experience. This is one of the reasons we survive. When something painful, frightening or emotional

Your brain and nervous system are not designed to keep you stuck. They are designed to adapt. When we experience trauma, chronic stress, anxiety, grief or overwhelming life events, it can feel as though our minds have become "broken." We may find ourselves trapped in patterns of fear, self-doubt, emotional overwhelm or avoidance that seem impossible to change. Yet research suggests something profoundly hopeful. Beneath these protective patterns lies a nervous system that is c

"Growth is not learning to convince the world that we are worthy; it is gradually becoming the kind of person who no longer requires the world's permission to trust ourselves." Many of us spend years believing that confidence comes from external validation. We imagine that if enough people approve of us, acknowledge our expertise, praise our achievements, or reassure us that we're "good enough," then we'll finally feel secure in ourselves. But psychological growth rarely work

One of the questions I'm asked most often is: "If Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or tapping) has so much supportive research, why isn't it considered as mainstream as therapies like EMDR or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?" It's a great question, and the answer might surprise you. It has less to do with whether EFT works, and much more to do with how psychology decides what becomes accepted as "evidence-based." Evidence is only one piece of the puzzle Most people imagine sci

For many years, ADHD has been thought of primarily as a condition involving attention, concentration and impulsivity. But emerging research is revealing something many adults with ADHD have been saying for years: "My body hurts too." If you live with ADHD and experience persistent neck tension, lower back pain, headaches, jaw pain, fibromyalgia, or a body that always seems tight, you're certainly not imagining it. Researchers are increasingly finding that chronic pain and ADH

Click here to jump to the Smoothie Recipe Many adults with ADHD experience digestive issues such as constipation, bloating or sluggish bowels. There are lots of reasons this might happen. ADHD can affect motivation, planning, working memory and meal preparation, making it easy to skip meals or rely on convenience foods. Some ADHD medications can also reduce appetite, making it harder to eat enough throughout the day. The goal isn't to eat "perfectly." Instead, focus on meals

As awareness of ADHD grows, so too does our understanding that it is far more than a "brain disorder." Increasingly, researchers are exploring how nutrition, inflammation, sleep, hormones, genetics and physical health may all influence the way ADHD presents. One area that has caught my attention is iron. Iron is essential for healthy brain function, particularly in the production of dopamine—a neurotransmitter heavily involved in attention, motivation, executive functioning a

One of the most difficult conversations I have with couples isn't about communication, conflict or love languages. It's about protection. Most of us don't realise how much of our behaviour in relationships is driven by trying not to get hurt. When we first meet someone, we tend to show up openly. We assume good intentions. We give generously, forgive easily and generally expect that this person wants the best for us. But after enough disappointments, arguments, misunderstandi

One of the most common conversations I have with clients is about the frustration of feeling stuck. People often come into therapy saying, "I know what I need to do, so why can't I just do it?" They might want to leave an unhealthy relationship, set better boundaries, apply for a new job, stop avoiding difficult conversations, or finally prioritise their own needs. Logically, they understand what needs to happen, yet something continues to hold them back. I have been guilty

Watching a parent develop dementia can be one of life's most challenging experiences. Many people describe feeling overwhelmed, uncertain and heartbroken as they gradually shift from being someone's child to becoming their carer. It can be difficult to know when to step in, how much support to offer, and where to turn for help. One of the most important things to remember is this: You don't have to figure it all out on your own. Many families don't realise that they are alrea

The Transition Into Motherhood What Is Matrescence? Most people have heard of adolescence—the developmental transition from childhood to adulthood. Fewer people have heard of matrescence, the developmental transition into motherhood. Matrescence describes the physical, emotional, psychological, social, relational, and identity changes that occur when a woman becomes a mother. It is not a single event that happens after birth. Rather, it is an ongoing process of adaptation and

One of the reasons ADHD, OCD and Complex PTSD can be difficult to distinguish is that they often occur together. Research suggests that people with ADHD are significantly more likely to experience PTSD than those without ADHD, with some studies finding PTSD rates between 28% and 36% among adults with ADHD. Individuals with ADHD may also be more vulnerable to developing PTSD following traumatic experiences. Similarly, ADHD and OCD frequently co-occur. While ADHD is often assoc

Most people enter relationships longing to feel deeply seen, understood and emotionally safe. We want to know that our partner is in our corner.We want to feel valued, prioritised and connected. We want to feel like we matter to the person who matters most to us. Attachment is what brings people together. It creates closeness, bonding and connection. But attunement is what helps relationships feel emotionally safe and nourishing over time. Attunement is the ability to emotion

Dopamine has been dubbed “the reward chemical”. However, neuroscience shows us that the chemical activities that dopamine is involved in is actually more like the train signalling system. Here is the metaphor: In a Neurotypical Brain When a task appears, the brain sends a dopamine signal. That signal says: “This task is worth starting.” The signal turns the green light on. The passengers (AKA: your thoughts, motivation, focus, and emotional energy) get onto the train And the

What Actually Happens in Trauma-Focused Therapy? (Part 4 of 4) When people hear the words trauma therapy , they often imagine talking through painful memories in detail. But trauma-focused therapy isn’t really about retelling the story. The focus is actually about helping the brain and body finish processing experiences that were never fully processed at the time a distressing/traumatic event occurred. When something overwhelming happens, the nervous system moves into a stre

What Therapy to Have When You Don’t Want Therapy (Part 3 of 4) You may not know this- but sometimes people come to therapy knowing they want things to change…but feeling unsure about whether they actually want to talk about the past. That hesitation makes a lot of sense, and is very common. For many people, the idea of revisiting painful experiences can feel overwhelming or simply too much. Some worry it will make things worse. Others already know how intense it can feel when

Why Therapy Can Sometimes Leave You Feeling Tired or Emotional (Part 2 of 4) Another thing people sometimes notice when they begin doing deeper work in therapy is that they feel surprisingly tired, foggy, or emotional afterwards. You might find yourself thinking: "Why do I feel worse?" "Why can’t I stop thinking about what we talked about?" "I went home and fell immediately to sleep" "I don't want to do anything this week- I just want to stay at home" This can be a normal exp

Why Trauma Therapy Doesn't Always Start with the Trauma (Part 1 of 4) Many people come to therapy expecting that healing means diving straight into painful memories. But trauma-informed therapy usually moves a little differently than that. More often, we start by building "a felt sense of safety". This is process is known by lots of names; such as "psychological safety", "resourcing", and the term "pacing" is also used to describe how a psychologist might take things as slowl

I have created a booklet (PDF) to download explaining narcissism and offering education and advice on how to manage these very toxic and...

So often I hear the following from both my neurotypical and ADHDer clients: "I just can't get motivated" "I don't know where to start"...